Wordcount: To all of those that loved before me

To all the friends all of those that loved before me,

I admit: I based off this open letter on a book by Jenny Han entitled, To All the Boys I Loved Before. I found it an enjoyable story, and a very relatable one; its nice to have a book connect with you in such an emotional way, especially when you read too many books in that genre (honestly, too many books in general) to count.

I liked the book, because it portrayed love in a realistic way for me. It showed that love is wonderful, and falling in love is a beautiful thing. It makes you happier, smile more, and gives you a little jump to your step. But it also shows how love is messy, and how easy it is to make a mess of things, whether they be big or little.

And this is where my open letter really begins.

To all my friends, I want you to know: loves a mess, and it makes you a mess, but it’s a mess we’ll have to figure out and experience on our own. As friends, we’ll be able to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, or we can fan the sparks and help ignite the flame, but what you experience is between you two and you two alone.

Love.

What is love?

If you look in the dictionary, there’s no absolute definition of it. Love is blind. Love is a losing game. Love is infinite. Love is undefinable. I would give you the definition of love, but I don’t know it myself- well, not in that sense.

I do know love: the unconditional love of my family, your patient love, and the love of those that work alongside me, the love of strangers when I make their day, and the love and connection I have with my God. But the love of two people? That’s a foreign concept to me. I don’t know what that is. I think I’ve gotten close to it a couple times, but I’d never actually loved someone. I’ve been in love with the concept of love, but haven’t had the opportunity to express it with another person.

Love is a crazy thing. Too complex for me to understand.

When you first meet a person you’re attracted to, there’s a pain deep within your core, unexplainable but unyielding. Then, like a fever, spreads to your veins, till it consumes your heart, mind and soul- till you realize you can’t get enough of that person to the point where it pains you to stay away from them longer. And when you two start something together, you make memories, experiences, something that’s special than the relationship you have with others.

It makes me wonder how something so special can hurt you in the beginning, give you the best time it can during its course, and depending on the end result, bring you back down again.

I’m not writing this to make you feel scared about falling in love/falling, nor make you feel guilty about my sad love life. I’m writing it so you know to cherish that love with another person for as long as you can, and if you guys can’t make it, not to get angry or sad: to be happy.

Love is a scary thing. It’s a messy thing. It’s really confusing and draining, but in the end of the day, I see the light behind your eyes, and honesty of your smile, so I know that love is great.

To all my friends that love or have loved before me,

To all those that love or have loved before me in general,

Keep it. Don’t lose it. Don’t forget it.

Not everyone is that lucky to cherish something so special. So go ahead, and don’t be afraid to love.

Sincerely,

The Loved